bed, bath and beyond

the crease on my pillow woke me up this morning. It was right in the way of my eyelid and its presence caused my brain to start churning. the smell of lavender, a few cars and an incomplete symphony of noisy travellers passing by my window, is starting to flirt with the idea of my urban setting. i listened to the footsteps - some heels and a stroller. i need to get up! i turn over my sheets, sit up in bed and think twice - its too early, maybe the street lamps aren't off yet! a phone rings down the corridor, what does one have to say at 7 in the morning?! and if one has something to say, why doesnt one say it in person?!

i fell back in bed, in slow motion, making non precise groans and flirting once again with morpheus. he is rarely there these days - well, hardly anyone is. so much space in a large bed. creases everywhere and no one to hold them down. 4 pillows, an extremity of empitness, the phone rings again and this time there's a reply. this bed has seen some good days, some ugly days and some fun days. i wonder, how many years pass till you make your bed, a space so unique that it feels solely yours? without the sense of emptiness? the smell of lavender fades out easily, the scent of a man doesnt! i close one eye and try to focus on the lampshade across from me. it used to be the first light i saw when you woke up, when your alarm went off and alarmed me for the day. it was then i realised that you were in my life, the annoying ringtone, the teaspoon beating on the glass and some aftershave. memories of a boy. keys turn and the day begins...

i go into the bathroom, look me in the eyes and smell some deodorant. the window is wide open, there's no toilet roll and i think you left the milk out of the fridge. i swim in my bathtub without a noise, i remember that photo exhibition we saw with P on the streets with undies hanging from a line across the faded walls of an old mansion. there was a bed in one of those photos, black and white but still an unmade made bed. i should make mine - its been a while since i had to make my own bed. coffee, cigarettes and my keys. i'm out the door. i run into the lady with the red hair, she habitates next to me. she's smiling and makes me wanna ask her about her bed. she's taking the trash out and in the bag there's an old photo. i notice her teeth, she's not that old but she's got yellow teeth - maybe she smokes too much.

i walk to work