there's nowt as queer as folk

I have been fairly blessed in life.

This is not an attempt to solicit for charity, nor am I embracing my solitude. Its a fact. I was given a free upgrade to first class once - I was travelling to London and fate smiled her Colgate smile at me. Furthermore, I have travelled to cities beyond imagination and have led a full life. A life of excitement, joy, surprises and endless opportunities for which I cannot accept credit. In my student years, there have been people around me, good people, who in their own way have sculpted my personality and have moulded me into the person I am today. Once, when in NYC, i sat fairly close to Heidi Klum in a restaurant and saw Jackson Pollock's art at the Guggenheim. Sometimes I would take long walks in the park and suffer the consequences of endless love and divine glory. In extreme moments of desire I would devour a sticky toffee pudding with some double cream perpetuating the glorious sensation of happy times. "summertime" is still scratching away clumsily on my cd. The breeze is eternally my friend and some other times - at night, when the solitude settles in, the moon envelopes me warmly. Nothing better than a bright full moon. There's nowt as folk to me as the moon.

The salted water on the skin of my toes. some salt from the fish at a forgotten tavern on a small deserted island while i lick my mouth with a thirsty tongue. Should I have a beer with that? Getting salt on my hands was always a treat - it produced childhood memories starring me and my mother. the way i dreamt of having all the fried chicken in the world. How i smiled at the police office every time i crossed the street to my school. Momentarily, I think of the soundtrack of my life: a requiem, perhaps a dollop of patricia kass, jingles of the moon river and sounds of the heart.

there's nowt as queer as folk.

does seeking more entitle you to a better chance in Life? Is every attempt justified and gratified or should one just ask for less so as to be grateful for the outcome, which ever that may be? I feel insane for exhibiting such rude lack of gratitude but I once read that he who dares achieves. people are strange though - unsatisfied creatures, vultures almost of the flesh. I long for more. "I need more sir..."

arms around my chest. there's a bus thats dropping people off on the main road. The number 30. A pair of wet eyes, staring deep into mine when I say "I love you". some flowers and cake on my birthday, perhaps a walk to the near by ice cream shop for some flavoured whipped air when I am low on sugar. a pillow of arms and a heart for a soundtrack. the scent of a man in the bathroom and the crease on his pillow in the morning. Thinking out loud and calling everybody by his name. You! Some aftershave is still lingering in my bathroom cabinet. there's photos of an island from the summer on my shelves. some friends' faces. I want you. I want to be there forever.

can i watch you sleep?